Freedom!

Today Nelson left the nursing home for good - woohoo! He had his bags all packed and ready to go when I arrived.

He is staying with his brother Raymond and his wife Bev for a couple of weeks initially. He was all smiles when I left after sharing some lunch there.

Surrounded by boxes!

Nelson's container was delivered and emptied into our new rental house. After that, the place seemed almost full! So we spent a week unpacking a little bit of that before considering moving everything from my house across as well.

I have found the whole process very daunting and I am very grateful for all the help I have received from friends and family. There is just no way I could have done this much without them!!! My friend Peter even made us wardrobes to pretty much build in as there is really no storage here in the new house apart from the kitchen cupboards - eek! Other friends have packed and unpacked along side me. Jessie and Matt unpacked and organised Darius' room before he came home to the new house from his weekend away at "Bamma's" house (my mother).


Nelson has spent time here too, unpacking his own things or putting together lunch for whoever is here. 

We visited the neurologist on Tuesday and he said Nelson has improved so much that he no longer will require rehabilitation prior to coming home. Both he and the house will undergo an Occupational Therapy assessment to highlight any changes to the house that are needed, and specific things that Nelson can and should do to continue his recovery.

Once the chaos is transformed into a home, the plan is for Nelson to move in. We are aiming for him to be here by Christmas.

The first step towards coming home

Well, today I signed a lease to rent a house nearby that has room for Nelson, Darius, me and a little sanity. The lease doesn't take effect for another couple of weeks, but this is the first step in Nelson's move back home.

There is much to do, including organising home care for Nelson. I am planning carefully so that it goes as smoothly as possible for everyone.

The plan put forward by his neurologist is for Nelson to have 2 or 3 weeks of residential rehabilitation to prepare him for coming home and highlight any areas that need special attention or assistance.

Nelson is very excited!! Watch this space!

Salad days

For the last couple of weeks, Nelson's friend Allan has been dropping "green juice" in to him - an amazingly long round trip from near Manly and back in time for work at lunchtime! I know Nelson has also been enjoying the bean sprouts Allan brings him, which are so good for him. I am sure this fresh food has influenced Nelson to take culinary matters into his own hands!

On Monday after an appointment Nelson asked me to take him to a supermarket to buy, "you know, supermarket things ... some red onions for salad". So we found a fruit and veg shop in amazing Campsie and Nelson chose several salad vegetables and some fruit for himself, including the aforementioned red onions.

When we got back to the nursing home, Nelson sent back his nursing home dinner and  proceeded to make himself a salad after washing the vegetables in his big metal bowl. I have to say, he was very persistent - chopping watercress with a slightly serated dinner knife into a bowl with nothing to press onto. At that point I was very pleased I'd suggested cherry tomatoes!

We are both very grateful to Eric who regularly brings beautifully cooked food which Nelson really enjoys (and so do Darius and I!) - thank you so much!

Out there in the community

OK, apologies for such a long time between posts. Amazingly, I've been busy. I haven't taken many photographs of Nelson either, since we seem to have been going from appointment to appointment (with lunch or coffee snuck in there these days) rather than on social outings per se.

There was one day recently when Darius discovered the remote control for Nelson's bed and insisted on actually folding the bed pretty much in half - with me sitting on it! Both Nelson and Darius thought it was hilarious, and played peek-a-boo underneath the raised up bed!


Saturday week ago, Nelson came to the Orange Grove growers market with Darius and me for the first time. All the stall holders who have been asking me about his progress for almost a year now were really pleased to see him and I was surprised at how well he coped with the crowd. He chose several things to buy (food of course) and proceeded to assemble a simple lunch at home afterwards when I went off to put Darius to sleep.

Mark came by with a little birthday gift for Darius, and Nelson read the new book to him after he woke up from his nap.

James, Allan and others have continued to visit Nelson very regularly and help in general.

Birthday lunch

Nelson was very lucky - Kuen took him out to lunch the day after his birthday. They went to the fishmarket and Nelson obviously enjoyed himself!

Happy birthday Nelson

Nelson's birthday is on a very significant date, of course. We had a lovely party for him, hosted by Mary Anne and Peter (pictured right) at their lovely entertainers' house.

All of Nelson's children were there and many important and close friends. It did have to be kept relatively small, but Nelson coped well with around 20 people there, quite late in the day.

Lotto was jackpotting at $20M and Nelson was absolutely convinced we would win it. He tried his best, but to no effect apart from a slight singeing to Mary Anne's table and the complete destruction of an oven mit.

Nelson received some lovely gifts - many of them books which he is still wading through - thank you!

Thank you to Isobelle for most of these photographs.

Marlon had made a lovely card for Nelson

A very Chinese attempt to influence the Lotto results that were jackpotting on Nelson's birthday...

I was very happy with the catering if I do say so myself!

James is normally behind the camera, so this is a rare picture!

Having his say

Richard visited Nelson on Tuesday and Nelson told me how good it had been to see him.

On Thursday I took Nelson to the speech pathologist to finally complete the assessment started a couple of months ago.  He did well enough that he will be starting a trial of fortnightly speech therapy sessions. It will be interesting to see what improvement that brings.

Today was polling day for the federal election and Nelson insisted on voting. He could have been exempted  on medical grounds, but was insistent. He actually got the nurse at the home to phone me so he could ask me when I was coming to get him, "to do that home thing" (vote). Good on him!

When we got to the polling booth he had no idea at all on what to do, so the official handing out the papers and I explained it between us. I think Nelson thought it was all a bit of a strange process.
 
When I got Nelson back to the home Brenda and Rhonda were waiting for him there, and they had a lovely time out on the balcony with him.

Visit home

I brought Nelson home for a visit today.  He said he needed a new book to read and I assured him he'd find one at home.  When he looked through the book shelves he was amazed, and asked me why all these books were here. I told them they were his, and when he looked puzzled I realised that he couldn't remember living here.

After I explained it all, he then remembered on his own that he had also lived here before going to Switzerland.

He then wondered around the main room looking at things, recognising his own computer. He found a lovely backpack in the corner and picked it up, saying, "That's nice!" Naturally it was his. He opened it and was fascinated to find all his work things in there. He had to ask me what the papers were and didn't recognise the name of a company he'd done work for. He then found a folder with information in it, including a list of professional skills. He read down the list exclaiming at how brilliant this person sounded and eventually worked out they happened to have the same name as him. I then told him it was a list of his own skills that he'd written about himself. "Really?! Do I really do all these things? Wow!! Really?"

He danced to some of his favourite music loud on the stereo.

 Brenda and Elaine arrived to visit and cooked gluten free pasta for lunch which Nelson ate with gusto.

Lunch with twins to be

Today we had yum cha with James, Russell and Callista. Nelson hadn't seen Callista for several years and was just delighted to find she is pregnant with twins - "one of each".

We had a wonderful chat and Nelson lasted longer in the increasing noise than anyone thought he might.

Of course he very much enjoyed the food too! He and Callista took great delight in sharing chickens' feet.

James was nice enough to bring a proper camera along and take this shot.

Sunday roast

Nelson visited Isobelle and the children at their house for the first time.Given a choice of food for lunch, Isobelle says "he opted for Australian Baked dinner so that's what we had! We all sat round in the short thunder storm and Nel ate a large lunch."

He told me the next day that he'd had good chats with all the children and really enjoyed his time with them.

Zen and the art of seeing

Today was another visit to the eye specialist. While we were in the waiting room, Nelson found a book in the pile of reading material - "Way of Zen". He picked it up and turned it over and over in his hands, looking at it in amazement.

"This is just an incredible book", he said. He wondered whether he'd read it in the past, or at least had it in his collection of books. "What's this doing here? They don't know what it is - it's never been read - just look at it - remarkable!"  He asked me to note the details of it and said he'd like to get a copy and read it.

When we went in to see the doctor, Nelson said how remarkable he thought the book was and that it was too interesting a book to have in the waiting room. He was obviously so interested in it, that the doctor said he'd better have a look at it. He came back in after a couple of minutes with the book, lending it to Nelson to read. How lovely!

And Nelson's eyesight is pretty good - not requiring any treatment. It only took Nelson 2 weeks to get through the whole book!

Chinese Sunday

Today Darius and I met Kuen with Nelson. Brenda and Rhonda also turned up, so we all walked to the park. Nelson can cover this distance easily now!

I didn't take any pictures of everyone in the park ... Kuen was amazed at how much improved Nelson is now, compared with his visits in March!

For the first time, Nelson felt happy to walk alongside Darius happily walking on top of one of the garden walls. In the past he has been afraid that he would be unable to catch Darius if he missed his footing, and even almost afraid to watch me guiding him.

Happy 18th!!

Avalon turned 18 yesterday - woohoo!

A lovely party was held at MaryAnne and Peter's lovely house to celebrate that, as well as the July birthdays of Lyndon and Marlon, who turned 16.

The party started at 4pm and Nelson managed to stay until after 6 before he felt he really had to go home. He coped surprisingly well with the number of people and the general party noise - he obviously made a big effort. Early in the evening he told MaryAnne he couldn't hear what anyone was saying and thought it a great joke and seemed quite surprised and relieved when she confided that actually nobody can hear what's being said unless they get quite close to the person they are talking to in that environment.

There was a lovely cake for the boys.

 And of course a cake for Avalon. She gave a short speech thanking all those she'd invited for helping her in her life so far.

Nelson made a show of pouring Avalon a glass of wine and even had his first little taste of champagne since he's been ill.

Peter spent some lovely time with Darius.

And a good time was had by all.

Nelson and MaryAnne

Yummy food to eat!

Darius presented MaryAnne's big bear with flower candles and gave him cuddles

Nelson and Jacqui, showing off her new engagement ring - CONGRATULATIONS Jac and Garry!

Shopping day

Today Nelson and I went shopping together to get birthday gifts for the children. We had a lovely time wondering around Balmain. It was really great to just spend some relaxed time together doing something useful and fun.

We stopped to get something to eat - my lunch and Nelson's second lunch. As usual, Nelson enjoyed the pappadums!

Today I also phoned Saeed to thank him for the lovely book he gave to Nelson last Saturday. Nelson has finished reading the whole thing already! Interestingly, Saeed told me that Nelson had suggested he have a look at this blog. He has only seen it a couple of times. Clearly things are sharpening up !!

Cheesy lunch

On Monday Nelson and I had a lovely Chinese meal with John "the Cheeseman". Nelson got quite agitated when it took more than a few minutes to get served - 12 o'clock is lunchtime! Once we'd ordered he was fine again.

He enjoyed the food and was delighted to have left-overs which he organised into takeaway containers himself, some for himself and then a bit for Darius.

I noticed Nelson had some lovely flowers and had started to read a novel brought to him by his friend Saeed - thank you. When I visited again today he was actually quite a way through the book and said he was really enjoying it, although he said it was a bit of a strain to read. I expect it is quite a good exercise for the language part of his brain!

Today Nelson's brother Robert visited and we were both surprised when Nelson started a conversation with him on a subject that we hadn't spoken about for several weeks. His memory has obviously improved!

Together we walked all the way from the home to the park. Darius had a climb around in the playground and we all walked back. The distance was a stretch for Nelson, but he made it without too much difficulty and only a few complaints. Although we've driven to the park a few times, it was the first time Nelson has walked there so I was surprised to find he was directing us on which way to get back.

This afternoon Brenda and Rhonda visited and Elaine also dropped in. Nelson enjoyed the sunshine on the front balcony with them.

Fabulous lunch

Today Nelson was treated to a lovely lunch at friends Mary Anne and Peter, with the children and Isobelle.

When he related it to me the next day he said how wonderful Peter's cooking had been, "and I tasted it and I thought gee, this is a shop one but then I realised he'd cooked it and it was just wonderful; astounding!".

Nelson said what a lovely time he'd had and I'm told he was in very good form, participating in conversations the whole time he was there.

Isobelle told me that he was able to talk to her about his reflecting on his life during the times that he's resting at the home.

Neurologist visit

On Sunday Darius and I visited Nelson. Once again father and son enjoyed doing the Hungry Caterpillar puzzle together. For the first time since Nelson's illness I was able to leave them alone together for over 15 minutes. When I returned they were still having a lovely time together.

Today we visited the neurologist who noted considerable functional improvement in Nelson, especially in his physical condition. He noted that Nelson was walking properly rather than shuffling as he was, and that there has been some improvement in his speech as well as his overall mood and his memory.

Nelson showed some improvements in his cognitive ability, but still had issues with an exercise subtracting 7 from 100 and then keeping on subtracting 7 from that number, etc.

He was asked to remember 3 simple things at the beginning of the session. When he was asked what they were partway through the session, he got the first one and incorrectly guessed the other two.

When asked, Nelson clearly had more insight into his overall situation than he had managed before.

Overall, nobody can really tell what's possible in these things as every person is different. Doctors are not known for their optimism in these things, so all we can do is to continue on doing everything possible to help Nelson's recovery and remember all the latest discoveries in neuro-plasticity without expecting him to return to being exactly as he was.

Lunch in Leichhardt

Isobelle and the children returned from their trip to the UK and Europe this week and so came and took Nelson out today. They called it "lunch", but Nelson told me later he'd realised that really for him it was dinner since it had been late afternoon.

Isobelle sent through some photos and says:

During Sunday lunch with Nelson we were catching up with news of our holiday in the UK. Nelson asked a lot of questions both about our trip to UK and about his children's school work.  

 

Nelson ate well and was talkative, he got into the ice creams and commented on how it was an Italian restaurant owned by Asians and with the old Italian menu, he said his Risotto was Asian style.

 

It was a quick lunch and Avalon drove us back to Nelson's home.